


Love, Me

by cozynajaemin



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Small Town, Based on Love Me by Collin Raye, M/M, Song fic, happy ending yay woohoo, light angst if you squint, mainly fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-24 04:06:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17697356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cozynajaemin/pseuds/cozynajaemin
Summary: If you get there before I do, don't give up on meI'll meet you when my chores are throughDon't know how long I'll beBut I'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and seeAnd between now and then, 'til I see you againI'll be loving youLove, Me





	Love, Me

Jaemin was standing on the limb of the tree, one hand holding onto the branch above him, the other hand held out towards a wary Renjun who was standing on his balcony in silk pajamas. “You coming?” Jaemin smiled, walking closer to the end of the branch to reach towards Renjun.

“I can’t,” Renjun whispered, looking back towards his closed bedroom door. 

“Yes, you can,” Jaemin took a step closer, “I’ll have you back before they even know you’re gone.”

“Jaemin,” Renjun sighed, “You know it’s too risky.”

“Everything about this is risky,” Jaemin took a step closer. 

The limb he was standing on, thinned out as he kept inching forward. It wiggled underneath his feet, causing him to lose his balance. Jaemin fell, quickly grabbing the branch. 

“Jaemin!” Renjun screamed before slamming his hand over his mouth. 

“That was interesting timing,” Jaemin laughed, hoisting himself back up, “See, risky.”

“I swear to God, I’m going to kill you,” Renjun pinched the bridge of his nose.

“As I was saying,” Jaemin propped one foot up on the limb, the other still dangling as he leaned back against the trunk of the tree, “Everything about this is risky, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take. Are you?”

“Jaemin,” Renjun sighed, leaning on the balustrade of his balcony, “It’s more complicated than that.”

Jaemin frowned, “Yeah. It always is.”

“Don’t be upset with me,” Renjun told him.

“I’m not,” Jaemin dropped down to the branch below him, “I never am.”

“You’re leaving already?” Renjun asked.

“Well, you’re not coming,” Jaemin shrugged, “So there’s no reason for me to stick around. So yes, I am leaving. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Wait,” Renjun reached his hand down, holding Jaemin’s in his own, “I love you.”

“Do you?” Jaemin muttered underneath his breath.

“What?” Renjun asked. 

“Nothing,” Jaemin squeezed his hand, “I love you too.”

“Get back up here and kiss me before you go,” Renjun told him.

Jaemin climbed back up the branch to get level with Renjun. He leaned forward, trying to keep his balance on the branch. He pressed his lips gently against Renjun’s. He slowly brought one hand up to Renjun’s cheek, as he continued to kiss him. 

“Get home safe,” Renjun said softly, “Your little Chevy truck is quite scary.”

“She’s brand new,” Jaemin frowned.

Renjun chuckled, “New to you. It’s a ‘71, it’s ten years old.” 

“Shut up,” Jaemin laughed, swinging down branch by branch until he reached the ground. He waved goodbye to Renjun before sprinting towards the gate of Renjun’s backyard and vaulting himself over the top of it. 

Jaemin walked up to the street where the picnic was being held. There were tables lined with food and drinks, and kids screaming and yelling as they chased each other around. There were games set up on the street, including hopscotch, corn toss, and even a mini carousel. Older boys were throwing a football back and forth, while the parents were sitting down at tables chatting between each other.

As Jaemin crossed under the banner that read ‘Lyndonville Town Picnic’, he immediately went to the first alley between two of the houses. He ran through each backyard, getting through them without getting caught since everyone was in the street by the front yards. He was in the clear. He glanced at the street through the alleyways as he ran and finally caught sight of Renjun. He came to a sliding halt. He crouched down in the alleyway, making his way quietly towards the front. Renjun was leaning against the wall drinking a glass of lemonade. When no one was paying attention to Renjun, Jaemin rushed forward, grabbed Renjun’s arm and pulled him into the alleyway with him. 

Renjun almost screamed. Jaemin quickly put his hand over Renjun’s mouth, “Hey, shhh, it’s just me.”

Renjun shoved Jaemin’s hand off of him. “Jaemin,” Renjun whisper-screamed, “What the hell are you doing?” 

“I told you I would see you tomorrow,” Jaemin smiled. 

“You can’t be here,” Renjun said quietly.

“No one can see us, Jaemin told him.

“They’ll know I’m missing soon enough, you big idiot,” Renjun scolded him, “This is a small town, and everyone is here, and my parents are eager to show me off as the heir to their company.”

“No offense, but they do realize they just own a grocery store, right?” Jaemin asked.

“It makes millions though,” Renjun shrugged, “They built a little grocery store empire.”

“That’s not what you want though,” Jaemin sighed.

“I’m fully aware of that, thanks,” Renjun folded his arms, “Can we not have this conversation here?”

“Yeah, of course,” Jaemin stepped back, “I’m sorry.”

“Jaemin,” Renjun said softly, “Are you upset?”

“Of course not,” Jaemin smiled, “I never am.”

“Okay,” Renjun nodded, “As happy as I am to see you, you really need to go.”

“I want to see you,” Jaemin pouted, stepping forward to hug Renjun, “We have barely spent time together in two months-.”

“It’s too dangerous,” Renjun interjected.

Jaemin continued his rant, “Just five minutes of me trying to get your attention or sneaking glances across the diner or town gatherings, some of which I can’t even go to because I’m from the other side of town and am not welcome, like this one.”

“Jaemin,” Renjun put a hand on his chest, “Please. You know I wish I could, but it’s getting harder and more dangerous to sneak away.”

“I get it,” Jaemin smiled sadly, trying to hide his disappointment, “I’ll go. I’ll be at our secret tree after I get off work if you care enough to at least try to see me.”

Jaemin turned and started to walk away. 

“Wait,” Renjun wrapped his hand around Jaemin’s wrist, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Jaemin gave him a quick peck on the lips and took off running. 

Jaemin stood underneath his and Renjun’s secret tree. The tree was next to the railroad tracks that separated the two sides of town. It was tucked away just enough where it was hidden from the road, but you could see when someone was crossing the tracks. It was how Renjun and Jaemin first met nearly four years ago. 

_Jaemin walked across the tracks to see a small boy painting underneath Jaemin’s tree. His tongue was slightly poked out of his mouth as he focused on his watercolors. The cups were placed on the ground in a circle around him._

_“What are you doing here?” Jaemin furrowed his brows and crossed his arms, staring down the boy._

_“Painting,” he smiled, showing a mouth full of braces._

_“This is my tree,” Jaemin frowned._

_“Oh, can we share?” Renjun asked hopefully, “I can’t really paint anywhere else or my parents will find out and they won’t be happy.”_

_Jaemin pouted, “Fine.”_

_“Come join me,” Renjun patted an empty spot on the grass._

_Jaemin assessed the boy before finally giving in and sitting next to him._

_“I’m Renjun,” he smiled again._

_“Jaemin.”_

_“So what do you come here to do?” Renjun asked._

_“Imagine,” Jaemin answered, leaning back against his tree and closing his eyes._

_“Imagine what?” Renjun pressed._

_“Anything I can,” Jaemin sighed, “Anything worthy of imagining. Sometimes things that aren’t, and then I get to sort through it later.”_

_“Is it fun?” Renjun asked._

_“Yeah,” Jaemin nodded, “Especially when it put it all together and turn it into something.”_

_“That’s really cool,” Renjun smiled._

_“What are you painting?”Jaemin asked._

_“You,” Renjun answered._

_Jaemin sat up quickly, whipping his head towards Renjun._

_Renjun giggled, “I was kidding. I would like to paint you though. You’re very pretty.”_

_Jaemin blushed furiously, “Okay.”_

_“Okay?” Renjun smiled._

_“You can paint me,” Jaemin giggled, still blushing._

_“Okay,” Renjun told him, “Just relax like you were doing. I want to paint you while you imagine.”_

_Jaemin nodded, leaning back against the tree and closing his eyes._

_“We should meet here more often,” Renjun said while he was painting._

_Jaemin didn’t move, but said quietly, “I would really like that.”_

Jaemin felt arms snake around his waist, drawing him out of his reverie. He dropped his hand from where he was tracing the carving they made of his and Renjun initials inside a heart as they promised forever. He slowly turned to hug Renjun back. 

“Do you wanna tell me what you meant earlier?” Renjun asked as they laid down next to each other in the grass.

“Hm?” Jaemin asked. 

“If I care enough to try and see you,” Renjun quoted him.

“It’s nothing, just forget it,” Jaemin smiled. 

“Don’t shut down on me,” Renjun held his hand, “Talk to me. What are you feeling?”

Jaemin sighed, “I feel like I’m the only one trying; like I’m the only one putting forth any effort for us to see each other. I’m always running to you, but now I feel like you’re tired of being ran to. I’m just inconveniencing you just by being your boyfriend.”

“Jaemin,” Renjun sat up, “You know that’s not true. You know I love you. More than anyone. Things are just more complicated than that.”

“So I keep hearing,” Jaemin flipped on his side, turning away from Renjun.

“Don’t be upset,” Renjun placed his hand on Jaemin’s shoulder, turning him on his back. 

Jaemin sighed, “I’m not.”

“You are,” Renjun told him, “I was foolish to have not seen it sooner, but you are.”

“I’m not,” Jaemin repeated, “I can’t be upset with you.”

Renjun laid back down, intertwining his fingers with Jaemin’s, “I need to go soon.”

“You just got here,” Jaemin replied.

“Don’t be mad, I’m sorry,” Renjun told him.

“Stop saying that,” Jaemin said, “I’m not mad at you nor upset with you. I never have been. I’m just tired, Renjun.”

“You worked an eight-hour shift, I’m not surprised,” Renjun chuckled.

Jaemin took a deep breath, “I meant emotionally.”

“Oh,” Renjun pouted, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Jaemin ran his hands through hair, “I just wanted you to know that I’m not upset or mad.”

“Being tired is almost worse,” Renjun sighed, “Are you tired of me?”

“No, Renjun,” Jaemin said quickly, “Of course not. I’m not tired of you. I could never be tired of you. I’m just tired of feeling like I’m the only one who gives a damn.”  
Jaemin looked up at the stars, taking a deep breath in.

“Keep going,” Renjun said.

“What?” Jaemin asked.

“This is the first time you are showing your true feelings,” Renjun squeezed his hand, “You’re not covering everything with a smile, so lay it on me. Lay everything on me, I want to listen. I know perfectly well that I’m not the only with struggles, but we only talk about mine, so it’s your turn. You don’t have to hide anything from me.”

Jaemin sat up, crisscrossing his legs, and looking down at his hands that were folded in his lap. Renjun sat up as well, their knees touching as he faced Jaemin. Renjun moved Jaemin’s chin up so Jaemin was looking at him. He prompted with his eyes for Jaemin to continue.

“I understand that things are complicated and it’s hard for you to take a risk, but it is a risk for me too. Do you think if we get caught, you’ll be the one punished? Your dad actually despises me, not you. If we were to get caught, I would be the one to go down, he would protect you. I am willing to risk everything because I love you, but I hate feeling like I’m the only who cares enough to do something,” Jaemin started tearing up, “I hate feeling like the I’m the only who is putting an effort in. When I’m away from you, the only thing I can think about is the next time I get to see you, and I don’t think you feel the same. You send me away and all I can do is think how it’s like it doesn’t even bother you; like if you never see me again, that would fine with you.”

“Jaemin,” Renjun whispered, taking Jaemin’s hands in his own, “Please don’t ever think that. It hurts every time I send you away, but I never let you go without telling you I love you because I do, and you walking away knowing that I love you puts me more at ease.”

“I know,” Jaemin nodded, “I know that.”

“I know that if we were to get caught you would take the fall, which is what terrifies me the most. Yes, I’m worried about myself and getting stuck here, but I’m more worried about you.”

“I’m sorry,” Jaemin frowned. 

“Don’t apologize,” Renjun told him, “I’m glad you communicated with me. I just want you to know that I feel just as strongly towards you as you do towards me.”

“I know,” Jaemin said softly, “I know you do. It’s just complicated.”

“I wish it didn’t have to be. I don’t want to even be here. I don’t want to take over a grocery store business, I don’t want to live in this town anymore,” Renjun leaned onto Jaemin’s shoulder. 

“Run away with me?” Jaemin proposed. 

“What?” Renjun sat back up. 

“I’m serious,” Jaemin jumped up, smiling, bouncing up and down, “I can’t stand this town either. We could run away together. We could meet here in two days time. I’ll quit the diner, and I can pick up another diner job in whatever town we settle in. I’ll get two jobs. You can paint and draw anything and everything you want. We’ll live a quiet life. Just the two of us, with no one to tell us who we can be or what we can do. We can get married in the first town we come to, and then keep going. We can be free. No complications.”

Renjun jumped up as well, pulling Jaemin down to eye level with him, “I’m gonna need you to slow down. There are so many holes in this plan.”

“Are there?” Jaemin asked, “Or are you scared of risk again? I’ll admit, it is risky, there are things that could go wrong, but as far as the initial plan goes, it’s very doable. I have a car, I have money saved up, and I am a good worker. I’ll provide for us. Your art will take off, you’re too talented for it not to. I can even try to get my books published. We can live in a small house, there’s only two of us. The smaller the house, the more cost-efficient. We can do this, Renjun. We can be happy. Run away with me. Take a risk.”

Renjun hugged him tightly, “Okay, okay, yes. Yes, I’ll run away with you!”

“Really?” Jaemin asked. 

“Yes!” Renjun nodded, “A thousand times yes!”

Jaemin lifted him off the ground and spun him around, “I’m so glad! Okay, so we’ll meet back here in two days at noon, and get on the road.”

“Okay,” Renjun nodded then kissed Jaemin sweetly. “I’ll see you in two days,” Renjun smiled, turning to walk away, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Jaemin grinned as he watched Renjun walk away.

Jaemin threw his duffel bag in the back of his truck. He jumped into the front seat and sped to the train tracks. He parked his truck and ran out as quickly as possible, nearly falling out of the front seat. He ran over the train tracks, the tree coming in view. His steps slowed as he realized no one was by the tree waiting for him. 

Jaemin shook his head, running his fingers through his hair. He couldn’t help the tears that slowly escaped his eyes. He didn’t even bother wiping them as he stumbled up to the tree. He went to touch the carving of their initials, but tacked to the tree over the carving was a note. Jaemin pulled it off the tree, wiping his tears so he could read it:

_If you get there before I do, don't give up on me_  
_I'll meet you when my chores are through_  
_I don't know how long I'll be_  
_But I'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see_  
_And between now and then, 'til I see you again_  
_I'll be loving you_  
_Love, Me_

Jaemin clutched the letter in his hands, holding on tightly. He slumped down at the base of the tree, still not letting go of the letter. His tears were now tears of happiness. He read the letter over and over again, not able to keep himself from smiling. He leaned back against the tree, closing his eyes, letter still in hand, imagining his life with Renjun. It was one of his favorite things to imagine, but he knew the reality would be so much better. 

Four hours later, Jaemin heard the leaves rustling. He opened his eyes to see Renjun walking towards him with no other luggage except a backpack, the leaves crunching under his feet. Jaemin hopped up and immediately ran to Renjun, wrapping him in a tight hug. 

“I love you,” Jaemin squeezed him tighter.

Renjun pulled away from Jaemin. He kneeled down on one knee, looking up at Jaemin, his backpack still on. He pulled out a velvet square box out of the pocket of his jeans, opening it to reveal a diamond ring. “I hope you weren’t kidding about getting married in the next town we come to. I know we’re young and dumb and on the run, but I don’t care. I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I’ve always known that since the beginning, and I want to start as soon as possible. I know there will be bumps in the road and hard times, but you’re the only person I want to go through bad times with. I want you to be the person I love and wake up to and the person I kiss goodnight and never let go to bed mad. I want to go through life with you, whether it be good or bad because you’re worth every bit of it. I love you more than life itself. I want to marry you, Jaemin; I hope you want to marry me too,” Renjun proposed.

Jaemin couldn’t hold himself up with how hard he was crying. He collapsed on knees before jumping forward, hugging Renjun. Jaemin cried into his shoulder, nodding fervently before he was finally able to croak out, “Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!”

Renjun was crying too as he gently slipped the ring on Jaemin’s left ring finger. Renjun leaned forward, kissing Jaemin and knocking them both to the ground. Jaemin cupped Renjun’s face, as they moved their lips in sync. Both of their cheeks were wet, but neither of them cared as they continued to kiss in the grass.

Renjun stood up, holding his hand out to Jaemin. Jaemin let Renjun pull him up. Renjun gently wiped both of their tears. “Okay,” Renjun giggled, “We should get going. I left my parents a note telling them I ran so they didn’t think I was kidnapped, and even though I told them not to look for me, they probably will.”

Jaemin nods. “Okay, let’s go,” Jaemin kept their hands intertwined as he led them to the truck, “You and me against the world. I love you, Na Renjun.”

Renjun smiled, “I love you, Huang Jaemin.”

Jaemin laughed loudly, kissing Renjun again, “We are so taking my last name.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!!! I hope you enjoyed it!!! (you can find me on twitter @cozynajaemin)


End file.
